The Role of the Bridesmaid and Groomsmen: Some Remarks
Have you ever thought seriously about the purpose of having so many people stand up with the bride and groom during a wedding? While having a best man and best lady (bridesmaid or maiden) at a wedding is customary, why do so many other people dress to the nines and stand there like statues throughout the ceremony? And indeed, there must be some greater use for them than as runway models.
Why do many people stand up with the bride and groom during a wedding? While having a best man and best lady (bridesmaid or maiden) at a wedding is customary, why do so many other people dress to the nines and stand there like statues throughout the ceremony? And indeed, there must be some greater use for them than as runway models.
First, some background, if you’ll pardon the expression. The groomsmen were the bride’s guardians, heroes who fought to keep the wedding on track. Even if it was her parents, they could have been investigating competing claims to the bride and dowry. The maid of honor or matron of honor served as the de facto team leader of the bride’s attendants. And naturally, they all wore identical, matching outfits so that any evil spirits watching the wedding couldn’t pick out the bride and groom.
The current state of affairs is symbolic, with the bridesmaids and groomsmen still wearing matching attire but distinguishable from the bride and groom. One thing that has changed, unfortunately, is that the wedding party now merely stands by as though they were part of the floral arrangement or aisle runner. The wedding party can serve several valuable roles and can improve the wedding’s overall presentation.
Too often, the groomsmen file in, stand awkwardly, and then leave. Oh, what a shame. After I, the officiant, enter the ceremony, the groomsmen arrive in reverse order, escorting family members such as parents and grandparents. That’s how the bride and groom make their way to the altar, and it’s an excellent way to incorporate the elders into the bridal party. The bride’s mother arrives last, followed by the mother of the groom, led by the groom, and the other grandparents and parents, accompanied by the other groomsmen.
That may not make sense, so allow me to rephrase it. The wedding ceremony begins with the officiant entering first and asking for a moment of silence. The groomsmen come next, leading the way for the elderly relatives. These may be grandparents, stepparents, or adoptive parents. The best man and groom then walk the groom’s and bride’s mothers down the aisle. A woman’s husband or partner should walk behind the groomsmen and the person being escorted if she has one. Sitting the bride’s mother last at the corner table is customary.
Here’s where the fun, romance, and intrigue for the bridesmaids may begin. When the bride exited and entered the carriage in the old days, the little men and little women usually held the shorter train. It was the bridesmaids’ responsibility to help the bride move around in her gown if it weighed the standard 150 pounds back then. Two bridesmaids walking behind the bride, holding the dress’s train at least to the start of the aisle, serve two purposes. The first advantage of having bridesmaids hold the gown up is that it stops the train from acting like a rake and collecting up branches, stones, and bugs if the bride walks a significant distance outside in the grass or gravel. Second, it’s great for couples and photo opportunities in general.
The bridesmaids who assisted with the dress will step forward and take their seats once the bride has reached the front of the church. Sure, it shifts the spotlight away from the maids of honor, but who cares about them? If the bride needs to ascend to a landing or step, her attendants should stand in front of her to support her dress. Remember, she’s carrying the father or other escort and a bouquet; she needs your assistance! When the bride is up on the stage or in the spotlight, her attendants should be busily arranging her dress, removing her flowers so she can keep her grip on her groom, and so on. To make the wedding feel more genuine, they should “work” harder.
Wet grass on the way to the altar from the bride’s dressing room? Want to keep those gorgeous shoes you got to match the dress? Wear your flats to the altar and have the bridesmaids stoop down to change you into your heels for the ceremony. Afterward, have them change you back into your apartments. Consider how heartwarming, kind, romantic, unique, and touching that moment was. It succeeds splendidly, to the delight of onlookers.
The best man and best woman are also helpful for the ring presentation. The best man, or the best man and best woman, may be asked to hold the rings in their hands while blessing the rings. Once again, these individuals are being utilized as more than mere props. At the end of the ceremony, when the newlyweds walk down the aisle, the bridesmaids and groomsmen follow in pairs. A tidy conclusion to a fantastic ceremony.
That settles it, then. A tiny bit of history and a way to respect that past by putting all those attendants to good use. After all, if you’re going to have everyone dress up in expensive wedding attire, you might as well do something that will look great in the photos and videos. Don’t settle for a mediocre wedding; the guests and the bride and groom deserve more.
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One of the most sought-after wedding officiants in the DC, VA, MD metro area, Lance Orndorff has presided over more than 1,600 ceremonies in locations ranging from Front Royal, VA, to Fredericksburg, VA, to Baltimore, MD, and even as far east as Annapolis and Stevensville, MD. Lance also runs a tiny, low-key wedding chapel in Winchester, Virginia, which may be found online at [http://www.winchesterweddingchapel.com].
Lance is available to perform wedding ceremonies of any denomination or no faith at all, including but not limited to the Roman Catholic, Protestant, and Jewish faiths. Christian, Jewish, Western, and Persian are just some traditions he is often asked to merge. Every year, he conducts a large number of Catholic ceremonies for Filipinos.
Even though Lance is a priest in the American Rite of the Catholic Church, his primary goal is to help you have the wedding of your dreams. If that’s what you like, there’s nothing wrong with making a “non-religious” decision. If you’re looking for a spiritual leader who won’t try to mold you into his image, Lance is your man. Instead, he enjoys helping you create the perfect wedding ceremony while you and your partner celebrate your love.
Visit his website at [email protected], call him at (202) 903-0925, or check out his movies and photos.
